The secret to closeness in marriage are not just in sparkling conversation, shared interests of similar goals or incredible sex. As good as those are, the secret is practicing plain old-fashioned thoughtfulness and kindness. It is something we all learnt when we were young but forgot because we got so busy. As simple as things like respect, sensitivity, attentiveness and caring are, they actually go a long way to heal, restore and renew any relationship. If your marriage needs a tune-up, begin to engage in these four things:
Practise Hug Therapy: When you are at odds with each other as a couple, always remember that ‘hearts will agree though heads may differ.’ So a hug works wonders especially when we touch one another in caring ways. Our bodies actually produce chemicals that calm us down emotionally at such odd times and this can help us to bond physically. God designed us that way.
Don’t forget the little things: When you routinely build little acts of kindness into your marriage they become a source of strength in your relationship. This becomes like a deposit in your bank account that you can always draw on when occasion demands. So think ‘personal’ and ‘sweet’ things like helping out with domesticated roles.
Mind your manners: Just because we are married and familiarity sets in does not mean common courtesy should take the back burner in our relationships. We must learn daily the art of listening without interrupting, practising the basics like saying, ‘Please’ ‘Thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry’. These virtues are not rocket science, but they work any day to strengthen any relationship.
Complement each other: Your spouse in marriage is not a mind reader. Whenever you think something nice about them, tell them. We live in a cold, competitive world so hearing that we are truly loved, smart, attractive and fun from someone whose opinion we really value means a lot. So learn to put a glow on your spouse’s face, restore any broken relationships by letting out the compliments.
This week we can truly learn to be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other as well as speaking the truth in love as we look out for the best interest our spouse thereby strengthening our relationship in marriage. The best place to start is where we are today!