Monthly Archives: October 2012

TONTO DIKE….My verdict

It was a rainy morning and Lagos has started with its drama, piles of cars driving bumper to bumper no one trying to back down for the other… I was in the cab as I couldn’t phantom struggling with other road user for the small portion of the tarred road not yet destroyed by repeated use. Then the sound from the radio caught my attention…the duty announcers were laughing and making jest..then it hit hard…The Tonto Dike drama. It was like the song was put on auto repeat, the sound couldn’t just leave my head, the lyrics…arrrghhhhh…..the disjointed nature….*(*^(*&*&%*%$#Q..

I could hardly imagine what this was until I read Jide Salu’s blog, and then I’m thinking this content made some sense…Jide’s content.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

That was a quote by Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th American US President said about critics.

You know what I dislike about some particular critics, its the fact that they are cowards. They either register fictitious email accounts to hide their insecurities or register their comments anonymously. I have no problems with someone who may be shy to post an encouraging comment, but surely…..you can’t be shy to post a disparaging comment towards someone who has dared to do….

And that takes me nicely to the Nollywood Actress Tonto Dike. An obviously hard-working lady whom I had never met.

So this lady is an actress, and she has a passion to sing and she went about it with the vigour of her acting skills. That was the sin this lady had committed judging by the slanderous comments towards her…and the unbelievable thing is that she is having fun and having a laugh. She is the doer, the statue that has been erected whilst a majority of social media anonymous critics are the pigeons busy searching for statues to poo on….

I came across a write-up posted on Y’naija….I thought it was spot on. It’s posted below.

While her style, lyrics and vocals were widely panned to unanimous negative reviews, I learned something instrumental (no pun intended) from her.

Click to listen to Tonto Dike’s ITZ OVA + Hi

1. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: While I may not know her, and haven’t listened to her debut, I think it takes a high level of self belief to take a chance on yourself. When last did you take a chance on you?

2. JUST DO IT: Don’t talk about it, be about it! My brother, Pastor Jerry sent his broadcast this morning and said ‘There is only one time that is important in life;It is NOW! NOW is the most important time because it is the only time we have any Power over. Have a sense of urgency over your destiny!’

Are you still saying I WILL DO IT or can you say like my fave female rapper, Eva, I DON DID IT!

Year don nearly end o!

3. HAVE RESULTS & PEOPLE WILL TALK ABOUT YOU!: Nobody celebrates you for a great idea you haven’t made happen! During the last 24 hours, Tonto Dike has been the subject of national conversation; from Blackberry broadcasts to mentions and TRENDING on Twitter. (And for a ‘celebrity’ (from the root word, celebrate), fame or notoriety is pretty much everything).

I wonder how many thousand times her song has been downloaded, shared, blue toothed and broadcast?

Think about it.

Imagine if she was being paid N100 per download…hm.

Where’s YOUR SONG, YOUR BOOK? Where the EVIDENCE of YOUR LIFE? Who’s talking about YOU?

So, back to Tonto’s Music. Good music? Bad music?

The jury is out. You decide.

The bottom line is YOU COULDN’T IGNORE HER!

 

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Filed under On a lighter note

WHERE CAN I BE FOUND?

Dear readers,

I have finally finished reading the series from @Ofilispeaks, and what an amazing episode, I actually got both books as a gift from a friend and now I treasure them so much and I am so scared to borrow them out, well these books are my greatest asset now as I try hard not to get them dirty or old. This is because the style of writing, the content, the illustration and the design is simply awesome. I stumbled on a post he wrote online and felt id share it to pass the message across.

Ofili Writes:

I tend to write LOL a lot even when I am clearly not laughing…but this one of those times that I was completely laughing out loud. And before I had even finished laughing out loud I had tweeted the joke on twitter, updated my status on facebook and repinned the picture on pinterest! And the reaction was the same…everybody loved the joke, shared the joke and retweeted the joke.

But after the laughter subsided, logic began to set in. Because as funny as the joke was, it is actually true. If I ever did get missing and my face was put on a fresh carton of milk, my friends would not realize I am missing until my dead body was found the milk had spoiled. But if my face was put on a wine bottle, or Vodka bottle, or Beer can…I would probably be found within days! I am not saying my friends are alcoholics, at least not all of them, maybe just a few, like a small few…Let’s just say I have never seen my friends drink milk. But alcohol…as long as they don’t get drunk before noticing my picture on the bottle…I am safe, because that is what my friends drink.

Several years ago businesses put their adverts on Televisions because that is where people where. Almost everyone had a TV set and congregated around it to watch the news or national telecasts.

Dad could watch his program, while the teenagers could watch theirs…that’s if the teenagers could agree on a channel to watch

But then came the internet and youtube and hulu and everything changed. The television lost it’s place as the king of the house…not only did people stop congregating around televisions, in some cases they stopped watching it altogether. The reason was because the internet gave people control to consume whatever the heck they wanted and when they wanted. Advertisers panicked, because for the first time they could not interrupt your video and force you to watch their 30 second advert on a product that you would never consume. Soon the advertisers became missing …because they still stuck their adverts on milk cartons (television) and ignored the wine and vodka bottles (the internet), while people like myself got drunk and addicted off the internet.

But then a marketer in a far away place cracked a joke that went like this:

If our brand ever gets missing, put our adverts on the internet instead of a television set. This way our customers no we are out there!

People probably laughed at the joke…but in the midst of the laughter…logic began to set in and one crazy advertiser put an advert on the internet and then another crazy advertiser and then soon everyone was putting adverts on the internet. They realized that adverts needed to go where the consumers where…and that was how the internet adsense craze began.

WARNING: Today’s Vodka is tomorrow’s Milk Carton…keep evolving.

As a business…do you know where your customers are? What they are doing? In August of this year I had no idea where mine where until I got a call from dealdey.com. They were interested in placing my books on their site, we spoke and agreed on a deal and a discount as well as the duration of the sale. But I frankly was just looking at this as a fun exercise, to me nobody bought books online, at least not in Nigeria. We ran the adverts and long story short, we sold over 120 books in less than a week! To put that in perspective It takes me 3-4 months to sell that same amount in bookstores. But somehow I had found my vodka drinking clients…it was on the internet…

We all have a vodka bottle out there, a place where we can market our businesses and products when we go missing on old traditional platforms. It might not necessarily be the internet for everybody…but there is a place that exists out there for everyone. Find your wine bottles, your vodka bottles and your beer cans today and for Christ’s sake stop posting your adverts on Milk Cartons!

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COMMITMENT

Marriage is God’s original intention after creation which forms the foundational block of every civilized society. Marriage is not just cohabitation of two people but demonstration of synergy as it becomes a call to servant hood, friendship and lifetime commitment. It is a refining process with no conditional clauses, risky but when we apply ourselves to the principles inherent, can make life fulfilling. The married life sums up each day of renewal of this commitment to our spouse. When we don’t understand the transitory changes involved, we tend to manifest insecurities and develop what people coined irreconcilable differences which can lead to crisis in marriage. Only dead people can have good marriages – those who are dead to self – selfish ambitions, desires and gratifications. We must be willing to nurture our marriages. Marriage is like a garden which must be watered to get maximum yield.

 In laws Interference: Give due respect to your in-laws, but avoid the over-bearing influences. Never take sides with them in any “attack” against your spouse. Don’t give undue preference to the in-laws at the expense of your spouse and children.

Parental Influences: You are not married to your parents. This basic understanding can help in conflict resolutions and other decision-making processes as you build your marriage. You must be careful of third party involvement in your marriage. Whoever you involve must be objective in their counsel.

Background influences: There are traditional beliefs, values traceable to our family of origin. Your responsibility in marriage must be first to God the author of marriage, your spouse before any family members or traditions inherited in our different cultures. Learn to treat your spouse with respect above all.

Personality Differences: This can be inherited or genetically acquired. These are behavioural traits associated with our growing up years (social status, education, cultural and religious bias). Temperaments are people natural way of thinking and behaviour, the barometer that measures things happening within us.

We can manage these diversities and see them as a tool for compatibility, growth and maturity in marriage.

We cannot afford to maintain the status quo in our relationship of marriage. This will amount to selfishness which can lead to marital failure. Maturity in marriage demands that we must be willing to change, cope with identified differences without letting them becoming the root cause of irreconcilable differences.

 

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Filed under Love and relationship

STOP RESENTMENT

The dictionary defines the act forgiveness as ‘to cease, to resent, pardon, acquit, overlook, release, free or pass over”. This is a very powerful tool that can help our marriages yet we all trivialized the role of what forgiveness can play in our intra and interpersonal relationships. We can all learn to walk in forgiveness, when we choose to lose our rights to be hurt by our spouses action and this is God’s sure way of freeing us from the oppression and bondage of offences.

 Offences can breed a strong hold on our hearts when permitted. It can torture our minds. The enemy of our souls use unforgiveness as a tool to bring garbage into our lives. We must pay closer attentions to issues related to anger, resentments, bitterness, hatred, and untold negative feelings, not to allow them in any way to affect our relationship in marriage.

 ‘For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there”. You might ask, don’t I have a right to be hurt or try to express how I feel in any given situation? Yes you do, but only do not allow such to linger on, deal with it and get on with an assurance of peace in your heart towards your spouse because ‘the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits”. We can never get to operate a successful relationship without learning to let go of any given cause for offence.

 We don’t all feel naturally to forgive especially when others wrong us, but when we allow God and let go, then we learn how to forgive and live in true harmony with ourselves and others. Forgiveness releases us from the pain associated with hurt. ‘When we truly forgive, we won’t retaliate, threaten, hate, judge, condemn, anger at slight provocations, reject, and resent in any way’. We need to all learn to let go of issues of yesterday trying to contaminate our today and future. We must not hold on to our space always thinking we are the good one. The best days are ahead of us!

 

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Filed under Liberation, Love and relationship, unlimited power