Monthly Archives: May 2014

DONT BE A DAVID MOYES IN THE OFFICE

The David Moyes story, as told by the 2013/2014 football season, this drama rocked the football world and Manchester United as a club, so unless you have been living under a rock or perhaps you hate soccer football so much that you close your ears every time you hear the words GOOALLLL … then you would have probably heard the phrase “The Chosen One” in reference to David Moyes the now ex-Manchester United coach who got fired after just 10 months on the job.

What’s more troubling is the fact that he was handpicked by arguably (from a Liverpool fan’s perspective) the greatest Manager in English Premier League History Bill Shankly Alex Ferguson. Who selected David Moyes specifically to continue his Manchester United legacy of greatness. Who would object to such a recommendation coming from such a prominent figure? Nobody. That’s why Moyes was signed to a staggering £36m six-year deal!
But from tales of arguments on the training ground with players, to fans turning against the new coach and a string of abysmal record breaking defeats … Moyes was fired after less than a year on the job. A firing that occurred against the back drop of a banner draped in the Manchester United stadium that read THE CHOSEN ONE.
Perhaps the plan was for the banner to hang for 6 years but it barely lasted 10 months. In fact the banner was one of many things that went wrong in the whole David Moyes saga and is actually #1 in my list of The 4 Ways To Avoid Becoming A David Moyes At Work…

#1 Do Not Hang A Banner In Your Office Declaring Yourself The Chosen One And Don’t Let Anyone Hang It For You Either

A saying that I love goes
“Understand what is expected of you and exceed those expectations.”
I add my own spin to it and say
“Understand what is expected of you and exceed those expectations except if the expectation is too high in which case you should lower the expectation as much as possible.” Continue reading

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PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH PATIENCE GRAMMAR

This is so hilarious and I had to share it.

When people talk about Patience Faka Jonathan, the first thing that comes to mind is her English.
The fact that she uses pidgin phrases such as “na you waka come” and “diaris God.” People feel that for a first lady in such a high position such language is inexcusable. But I beg to differ…. I will rather have a leader be authentic than hear an amalgamation of British-Indian-American forced accents that have become the norm in our Nigerian society today.

Because the way you talk, the way you pronounce words, the sophistication or the level of complex words you throw together is not a determinant of how intelligent you are, it has never been. That’s why when Patrick Obahiagbon speaks with his big words so complex that Harvard professor’s orgasm it gets lost in translation. Because Nigerians don’t understand him and at the end of the day he makes no sense at all…he sounds stupid.

I mean just flip through your radio dial and you will be hit with a plethora of grammar from American to British to Indian and sometimes ancient Latin, all this while you are still physically in Nigeria. All because we have somehow come to equate big grammar and sophisticated accents with intelligence.

That’s why I really have no issue with Patience grammar, because the first lady represents 170 million Nigerians and not just the so called sophisticated few. So when she speaks in her mixture of pidgin and English plus a strong accent, more Nigerians will understand and connect with her than a Patrick Obiagbon or an OAP’s fabricated accent. And we connect because it comes from a place of authentic understanding. As long as a person knows what they are talking about we would understand … I personally was taught Math’s, English and Science by teachers with strong accents and faulty grammar. We sometimes would laugh and make fun of them when they made grammatical errors but at the end of the day they made us succeed despite the grammar gap. The grammar was not important, it was what they knew in their heads that was important.

Ironically I think the whole pidgin English distracts from the real problem with Patience.
It was never about what she said or did not say at the #diarisGod conference, but rather the timing. It took her 20 plus days to address the issue but only after considerable international pressure. And when she did address it, she made a show of it.

Time and again she has been absent on critical issues that a first lady could help give a voice to…

Where was she when lawmakers were voting to approve under age marriage?
Where was she when students were killed by boko haram in Yobe?
Where was she when the video of the 5 gang rapists went viral?
Where was she when 4 University students aka the ALUU 4 were mobbed?

The answer frankly is nowhere. The criticism of the first lady is not for things she has said but rather for things she has not said! Plus her absence in selfless but important National issues which is a stark contrast to her political activism disruption in states like Rivers.

At the end of the day Nigerians are not looking for a first lady that wears Vera Wang or Calvin Klein, or one that speaks with American-British-Jamaican English and drops big words left right and center. What Nigerians want is a first lady that cares for her people whether the camera is on or off, a first lady that brings issues to the limelight not one that appears after the lime light has been created by others and then tries to hug the lime light. A first lady that is known not for what she says but for what she does, that’s what we need and that’s what we don’t have….yet….

The patience escapades is also a reflection of the standard of education in Nigeria, if the first lady can speak like this, the second citizen of the Nation then I wonder how those underneath would speak. we don’t need to crucify her or nail her, we just need to speak with the presidency to upgrade the standard of education.

Ofili Speaks

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WHO FLIES THE KITE?

On a breezy March day, the town mayor happened to stroll through the park where a small boy was flying the largest, most beautiful kite he had ever seen. It soared so high and floated so gently, the mayor was sure it must be visible from the next town. Since his little town did not have very many things of note to its credit, the mayor decided to award a “key to the city” to the one responsible for setting this spectacle aloft.

“Who is responsible for flying this kite?” the mayor inquired.

“I am,” said the boy. “I made the kite with my own hands. I painted all the beautiful pictures and constructed it with scraps I found in my father’s workshop. I fly the kite,” he declared.

“I am,” said the wind. “It is my whim that keeps it aloft and sets the direction it will go. Unless I blow, the kite will not fly at all. I fly the kite,” the wind cooed.

“Not so,” exclaimed the kite’s tail. “I make it sail and give it stability against the wind’s whims. Without me, the kite would spin out of control and not even the boy could save it from crashing to earth. I fly the kite,” declared the tail.

So, who flies the kite?

This week, remember that the kite flew high in the sky because of the team driving it.

Be a good team player.

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IT IS TIME TO ASK!

A little boy was spending his Saturday morning playing in his sandbox. He had with him his box of cars and trucks, his plastic bucket, and a shiny, red plastic shovel.
In the process of creating roads and tunnels in the soft sand, he discovered a large rock in the middle of the sandbox.

The boy dug around the rock, managing to dislodge it from the dirt. With a little bit of struggle, he pushed and nudged the large rock across the sandbox by using his feet.
When the boy got the rock to the edge of the sandbox, he found that he couldn’t roll it over the wall of sandbox.
Determined, the little boy shoved, pushed, and pried, but every time he thought he had made some progress, the rock tipped and fell back into the sandbox.

The little boy grunted, struggled, pushed, & shoved, but his only reward was to have the rock roll back, smashing his fragile fingers.

Finally he burst into tears of frustration.

All this time the boy’s father watched from his living room window as the drama unfolded. At the moment the tears fell, a large shadow fell across the boy and the sandbox.

It was the boy’s father. Gently but firmly he said, “Son, why didn’t you use all the strength that you had available?”

Defeated, the boy sobbed back, “But I did dad, I did! I used all the strength that I had!”

“No, son,” corrected the father kindly. “You didn’t use all the strength you had.”
“You didn’t ask me.”
With that the father reached down, picked up the rock and removed it from the sandbox.

Do you have ‘rocks’ in your life that need to be removed? Are you discovering that you don’t have what it takes to lift them?

There is always someone available to you and who is willing to give you the strength and support you need.

Aside from friends, colleagues and mentors, we have a Father who is our present help in time of need.

He is our ultimate source of help, reach out to Him in prayers.
Question – Why do people have difficulty asking for help?

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JONATHAN’S STORY

I know a whole lot of you would expect to hear the story of our President; Goodluck Jonathan. Well sorry to burst bubble. It is not.

Jonathan Rogers, a handsome man in his late forties, completed high school in Trinidad. After working as a flight attendant for five years, he quit because he realized that life as a flight attendant was not what he wanted. Instead he took his customer service skills to the cruise line industry as a purser. At that time, Jonathan’s career aspirations were undefined. When he boarded the ship, his goals were to be employed for a few years and save enough money for a new life in Canada. Once in Canada, he would gain employment in a hotel and move up to become a hotel manager.
Unfortunately, those plans came to a complete stop when the government rejected his immigration application.

In the fifteen years since that time, Jonathan’s story has become truly inspirational. He realized that he could just as easily achieve his career plans at sea. Within a few years, he became chief purser by refining his computer skills, accounting competence and customer service techniques. He also participated in all professional development courses that the corporation offered him. His hard work started to pay off when he caught the attention of a superior who recognized his potential. This person served as a mentor and assisted him in focusing on a career plan.

Jonathan spent many years as chief purser and took on special projects, where he developed his training and leadership skills, cost management expertise and staff relations skills. Soon he had a diverse portfolio of talents, and he was rewarded with the position of food and beverage manager on a prestigious ship.
At every opportunity, Jonathan expressed his career goal to be a hotel director. Now fifteen years later, Jonathan has become a hotel director.
When asked what the secret to his success is, Jonathan’s response was,
“Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in you and who can help you with a plan to make your dreams come true. It is important to ask for feedback and realize what constructive criticism is and what is not. If you don’t ask, you won’t know, you won’t learn and you won’t grow.”

Question – While waiting for a dream job / business, what should a person be doing?

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#BRING BACK OUR GIRLS#

Over 2 weeks ago, 234 girls were kidnapped from a secondary school in Borno State, and till date there is no news on their whereabout, we have all stayed glued to our Televisions and radios sets expecting the big news of their rescue. No not at all, not in our Nigeria where the president parties all night when people are being blown apart on a daily basis, when over 200 young girls are left in the dark without any plan to bring sunlight back upon their faces, young girls whose destinies and lives would have been re-defined these few days.

I sit back after a hard days job and seeing all my twitter contacts tweet using the #Bringbackourgirls#, my friends on BB change their dp’s on a regular basis with faces or sad girls whose future once looked bright. I hear cluster discussions of people giving their suggestions on how best to rescue the helpless girls, I ask myself what kind of a country values human lives any less like Nigeria? I ask myself why did they have to go to school on that faithful day?

I take a few minutes to think; what if one of the girls was my daughter? And I am met with a hot eye almost misty with tears. I can only but phantom what the parents are going through, can a mother make a successful 10 hours of sleep with the thoughts of her young girls being molested (only to say the least) out there? Random thought sways through her angry mind.

But hold on, we have a President who knows that the girls have been missing for a while now, I recall the picture that went viral of the British High commissioner donating blood minutes after the Nyanya Bomb Blast beside a picture of the president in a party celebrating one of those who Nigeria is supposed to keep behind bars. For a nation with no intelligence at all, bomb go off everyday in different location and no one is ever brought to book for it. Is this a country? Can I be proud of claiming this Nation as my mother land? NO. the blessing of birth has chosen this once green land for me.

I recall the Boston Marathon when a bomb went off during the exercise, the world knew, the city was shut down, the President summoned security chiefs, the police was on guard, shops, malls, even animals were on standstill, and in less than 3 days the bomber was caught. Now that is a serious country, intelligence works, security is on point, the president knows it, here in Nigeria, bomb goes off freely in car parks and those culprits would watch the news by 8pm same day over drinks.

Where are we headed? The vice president looses his brother in an accident and the federal executive council meeting is postponed. 234 girls have spent the past 10 nights in a forest with strange man of the underworld and nothing is done, this shows you the value of some lives in my country. I wish I could fully pour out my pain and ache being a citizen of this country. Sometimes I wonder if we would ever get it right and if the light would come, but the next minute I look through the window and I see a poster and reads “Vote for 2nd term in office” in anger I ask myself why is mediocrity so neck deep in us?

I’m sure you heard about the ferry that capsized and lives were lost. Well let me tell you that the prime minister resigned taking responsibility of the mishap, in Nigeria the story is different, the presidency is their birth right. It is do or die. Nothing would make me leave the throne. People loose lives and nobody takes the blame even when the responsibility lies with them.

Mr. President, look through the eyes of the weeping mothers struggling to go through each day, look through the eyes of the fathers struggling hard to console their wives while they also nurse their pains, look through the eyes of brother who pay daily their sisters are found. Look through the eyes of the widow whose husband was cut short by the bomb of men of the underworld while looking for the daily bread. Look through the eyes of those who live their lives hoping to die tomorrow when the go out.

I got a broadcast on my phone today and it reads; if Boko Haram tells you not to come out tomorrow and the federal government ask you to come out who would you listen to?

#Bringbackourgirls#
Isa

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