A professor was teaching his students about anger. He asked, why do people shout at each other in anger when they are upset? The students reasoned, one said we shout because we lose our calm but the professor asked again, why shout when the other person is just next to you? Isn’t it possible to just speak with a soft voice? Why do we have to shout at others when we are angry?” The students gave some other answers but none satisfied the professor. Finally he explained whenever two people are angry at each other, their hearts have psychologically distanced themselves from each other and to cover such distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they become, the harder they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance. The professor then further asked, what happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, why? It is because their hearts are psychologically knitted. The distance between them is very short. The professor continued, when they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, but only whisper and the closer they further become in love, they only look at each other to communicate.
So next time you shout at a loved one or a colleague, note that you are indirectly creating a distance between your hearts. The true test of growth in our lives is not always found in what we say, but largely in what we choose NOT to say. Even though we may have every right to respond harshly to someone who has wronged us personally, please learn to recall how many times you have been spared in spite of your imperfections. Grace empowers us to approach each day in reflection on things we may have taken for granted. In appreciation for all that you have been given, choose to give up your right to hold offense against others. Your capacity to thrive in life will be a direct reflection of your ability to forgive and forget because “Smart people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur is to forgive and forget”.