ON A LIGHTER NOTE….Vol 9

My wife and I are watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No,” she answered.
I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, “Yes.”
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
…na so fight take start!

******************************************

Saturday morning I got up early without waking the wife, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up my fishing boat up to my 4×4 and proceeded to back out…. into a torrential downpour! The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”
My loving wife of 10 years replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”
…na so fight take start!

******************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive………………………………
so, I took her to a petrol station.
…na so fight take start!

******************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, ‘You should have dropped your trousers. You might have gotten disability, too.’
…na so fight take start!

******************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
…na so fight take start!

******************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
“I’ll have the steak, medium rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
…na so fight take start!

******************************************

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’
The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s perfect.’
…na so fight take start!

3 Comments

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3 responses to “ON A LIGHTER NOTE….Vol 9

  1. damilola balogun

    wow……..real funny stuff

  2. What a blog! I like the content .I have to admit that you have a very good sense of humor. Keep it up, you are doing good job..

  3. very funny ….you had me and my husband cracking up.
    Laughter is so good for the soul.

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