Perhaps the single greatest source of life energy is positive interaction with others. Even if you were the class nerd in high school, it’s never too late to achieve social success. You can develop social confidence by following a few simple steps.
Schedule Your Social Life: To hone your social skills you have to invest time in them. You need to surround yourself with others to create a rich supply of opportunities to observe interactions and to improve upon your own social behaviors. Don’t turn down invitations. Plan outings with acquaintances you’d like to know better.
Think Positively: Insecure people approach others anxiously, feeling they have to prove that they’re witty or interesting. Self-assured people expect others to respond positively. Good conversationalists make comments that are connected to what is said to them relative to the social situation. You don’t have to be interesting. You just have to be interested.
Enter Conversations Gracefully: Timing is everything. After listening and observing on the perimeter of a group you interact with, look for an opportunity to step in. Ask a question on what someone else has already said. The idea is to use an open-ended question to let others participate. Once the conversation gets moving, back off and give others a chance to talk.
Manage Your Emotions: Social situations are incredibly complex and dynamic. They are verbal and nonverbal cues, such as facial expression and voice tone which must be interpreted before you decide on the best response all in a matter of microseconds. No one can do these without a reasonable degree of control over their own emotional states, especially negative emotions such as anger, fear, anxiety, emotions that usually arise in situations of conflict.
Laugh a Little: Humor is the most prized social skill, the fast track to being liked. There’s no recipe for creating a sense of humor. But even in your darkest moments, strive to see the lighter side of a situation. Managing conflict without aggression requires listening, communicating, taking the perspective of others, controlling negative emotions, and problem-solving. Develop this confidence.
Have a great week and Merry Christmas