ON A LIGHTER NOTE….. Vol 8

HOW FUNNY

Just for laughter!

A little boy asks his Dad “what is between mom’s legs”?

The father answers “Paradise”.

The kid asks again “what is between your legs dad”?

The father replies “the key to the paradise.

The son says “piece of advice dad, change the lock, because the neighbor has a copy!

Have a rewarding day.

CLOWN

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him $10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to $7.50

“Well,” the beggar thinks, “it’s still better than nothing.”

A year passes in this way until the man’s daily donation suddenly becomes $5.

“What’s going on now?” the beggar asks his donor.

“First you give me $10 every day, then $7,50 and now only $5. What’s the problem?”

“Well,” the man says, “last year my eldest son went to university. It’s very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further.”

“And how many children do you have?” the beggar asks.

“Four,” the man replies.

“Well,” says the beggar, “I hope you don’t plan to educate them all at my expense.”

Thank You

A Really Ugly Woman

An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.

The shopkeeper asks, “Are they twins”?

The woman says, “No, he’s 9 and she’s 7. Why? Do you think they look alike?”

“No”, he replies, “I just can’t believe you got laid twice”!

43 YEARS, 2 MONTHS AND 8 DAYS TO LIVE
Enjoy !!!!!!!

A 54 year old woman had
A heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she
Asked “Is my time up?”

God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to
Live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
Face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had
Someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she
Had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of
It.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing
The street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had
Another 43 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the
Ambulance?”

(You’ll love this)………

The Hotel Bill

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to
Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road,
they’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop
for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room,
but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get
back on the road. When they check out four hours later,
the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is
so high. He tells the clerk although it’s a nice hotel;
the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350.
When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate,
the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the
man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-
sized pool and a huge conference center that were
available for the husband and wife to use.

“But we didn’t use them”, the man complains.
“Well, they are here, and you could have,” explains the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in
one of the shows for which the hotel is famous.
“The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood
and Las Vegas perform here,” the Manager says.
“But we didn’t go to any of those shows,”
complains the man again.

“Well, we have them, and you could have”, the Manager replies.
No matter what facility the Manager mentions,
the man replies, “But we didn’t use it!”

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up
and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to
the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.
“But sir,” he says, “this check is only made out for $100.”

“That’s right,” says the man. “I charged you $250 for
sleeping with my wife.”

“But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager.

“Well,” the man replies, “she was here, and you could have

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