ON A LIGHTER NOTE Vol. 7

Please don’t laugh!!!

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.

PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that’s not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he
do to deserve that?

GIRL: Well, he kissed me.

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this? The psychiatrist kissed the girl

GIRL: ……Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL:But, he put his hand in my top.

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this? The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl’s top

GIRL:Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL:But, he took my clothes off.

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this? The psychiatrist took off the girl’s clothes

GIRL:Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL:But, he had sex with me!

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this? The psychiatrist had sex with the girl

GIRL:.Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that’s no reason to call him a BASTARD.

GIRL:But, then he told me he has

AIDS.

PSYCHIATRIST:BASTARDDDDDD!!!!!

 

LOVE IN MENTAL HOME

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, “Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged; since you were able to respond rationally to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind.
The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”Edna replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?”

 Unconditional love.

ALWAYS ASK NEVER ASSUME 

His  request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell  phone to call the local airport to charter a  flight.
  
He was told a twin-engine plane  would be waiting for him at the airport.

Arriving at  the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a  hanger.
  
He jumped in with his bag, slammed  the door shut, and shouted, ‘Let’s go’.

The pilot  taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took  off.
  
Once in the air, the photographer  instructed the pilot, ‘Fly over the valley and make low passes so I  can take pictures of the fires on the  hillsides.’

‘Why?’ asked the  pilot.

‘Because I’m a photographer for CNN’ , he  responded, ‘and I need to get some close up shots.’
The  pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, ‘So,  what you’re telling me, is . . ..  You’re NOT my  flight instructor?’

A group of Alumni, highly established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired. During their visit the conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in their work and lives.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the alumni had a cup of coffee in hand, the Professor said: “Notice that all the nice looking; expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best cups … and then you began eyeing each other’s cups. Now consider this: Life is the coffee; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life.
The type of cup one has does not define, nor change the quality of life a person lives. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us”

God makes the coffee, man chooses the cups. The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

Enjoy your coffee. 

 

8 Comments

Filed under Liberation, Nigeria, unlimited power

8 responses to “ON A LIGHTER NOTE Vol. 7

  1. Very interesting site great information and detail loved the joke lol good colors and graphics keep up the good work

  2. Gud work bro…nice layout. very deserving for the doctor…real funny posts you have here.

  3. I enjoy this site, the journey and learning is a great ride.. Thank you!

  4. OMG! Bastard! LOL

    Nicely done!

    /Alexandra

  5. Very good joke! I also like your layout and banner, gives a very fresh impression. Keep it up :-).

  6. Far

    Great resource for a variety of information .

  7. Nice site and all works well,well done.

  8. Usually I do not post on blogs, but I would like to say that this article really forced me to do so! Thanks, really nice article.

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